I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
