There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
