She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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