idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
