It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
