I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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