The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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