Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
