I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
