Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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