all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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