gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
