So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
