normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
