I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
