u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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