omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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