the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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