Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
