i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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