maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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