I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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