On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
