Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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