im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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