i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
