U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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