I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
