the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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