Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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