no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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