Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
