Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
