A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
