Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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