just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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