I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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