This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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