her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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