do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She said her name was "party"
where am i from again
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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