i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
