Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
