you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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