So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
