last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
