I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
