bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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