Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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