Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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