I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Vodka?
Forever.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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