Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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