My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Tell her she can't have a vagina
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
